The Coaching Question I Stopped Asking (And What I Ask Instead)
By Jamie Slingerland, MCC, Co-Founder of Catalyst Coach Academy
Here is the question I relied on most in my early coaching sessions.
“Tell me more.”
It felt curious. It felt open. It felt like good coaching.
And most of the time, it kept my client completely stuck.
Your Client Already Knows the Story
They know every detail — what was said, who was in the room, how it felt, and what they wish they had done differently. They have probably replayed it a hundred times before they ever sat down with you.
Asking them to replay it one more time won’t move them forward. What clients need is a question that helps them see something new: a pattern they’ve been missing, an assumption worth examining, a value quietly driving everything, or something in their own words they have never heard themselves say before.
That shift changed the way I coach.
What I Ask Instead
Instead of “Tell me more about that,” try asking “What are you noticing as you say that?”
Instead of “What happened next?” try “What feels most important about this for you?”
Instead of “Walk me through it,” try “What do you want to be different?”
The first question keeps your client inside the story. The second invites them to step back and look at themselves within it. That is where real insight happens.
Listen Underneath the Details
This is a listening shift before it is a questioning shift.
When you stop collecting the facts of the story, you can start listening for what is beneath them. What belief is running quietly in the background? What value is being challenged? What tension is this client holding — and what are they just beginning to realize?
The ICF names this Evokes Awareness, and it depends entirely on Listens Actively. You cannot ask a powerful question about a client’s thinking, values, or beliefs if you are busy tracking the plot of their story.
“Tell Me More” Isn’t the Problem
“Tell me more” is not a bad question. There are moments when a client needs more room, and giving it to them is exactly right.
The habit to break is using it on autopilot — reaching for it reflexively instead of pausing to ask: What does my client actually need right now?
Great coaching is not about becoming an expert on your client’s story. It is about helping your client become more aware of themselves inside the story. That requires a fundamentally different kind of listening — and it leads to much more powerful questions.
How We Train Coaches at CCA
At Catalyst Coach Academy, this is one of the core shifts we help developing coaches make:
Listen less for information. Listen more for awareness.
Our small, bilingual cohorts are led and mentored directly by MCC-credentialed coaches, so you practice this in real coaching sessions with real, personalized feedback — not just theory.
We don’t just train great coaches. We prepare you to be a coach who gets hired.
Because great coaching isn’t about gathering more. It’s about creating new insight.
